Kelly is so fat, he shows up on radar.
The guy is so fat, he leaves footprints in concrete!
Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."
One guy was so fat, he had his own area code.
You are so fat NASA orbits satellites around you.
Kelly is so big, he plays hopscotch like, "Texas...Alabama...North Carolina...Pennsylvania..."
I know a lady named Paulette that is so fat she has to wake up in sections.
And then there is Judy. She has so many double chins she looks like she is staring at you over a pile of pancakes.
Seriously though, Judy isn’t fat, she insists she’s just 4 feed too short.
But Paulette takes the cake. Once she jumped into the gulf here in Panama City and the tide came in at Myrtle Beach.
Your mama's so fat, when she broke her leg, gravy poured out!
Kelly is so fat, they use his belt to measure the Earth's equator.
The guy is so fat, if someone would melt him down, they'd have enough oil to power Detroit for a month!
fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other, "Your round."
The other one says "So are you, you fat pig!"
Kelly is so fat, if he wore a GoodYear hat, he'd look like a blimp.
You are so fat you were baptized in Sea World.
You are so fat, you had your baby pictures taken by satellite.
Kelly is so fat, people jog around him for exercise.
Jim is so fat when they step on the scale it says, "No live stock please."
Yo momma's so fat she needs a VCR for a pager
Your mama's so fat that her belly button makes an echo
Yo momma's so fat her cerial bowl comes with a lifeguard
Yo mama's so fat, on Halloween she says "Trick or Meatloaf!"
Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get to her GOOD side.
The rather broad lady showed up at the theatre just before the
performance started and handed the usher two tickets. "Where's
the other party?" asked the usher.
"Well," said the lady, with a blush, "you see one seat
is a little small for me and rather uncomfortable so I bought
two. But they're both really for me."
"Okay with me, lady," the usher replied, scratching
his head. "There's just one problem. Your seats are numbers
fifty-one and sixty-three."
Also, there was the time Paulette fell over in the sand and rocked herself to sleep trying to get up. She was eventually awakened by a lifeguard who asked her to move back because the tide was waiting to come in.
Hey, SW Ohio!
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Family portraits and senior pictures - $50.00! Economy package - $25.00!! For details, hit:
E-Mail me at: Carl@CarlMerritt.com